I Totally Miss You
by Loggie12
Summary: Two months after Ross and Rachel's break-up, the gang decided on Hawaii as their vacation destination. It's always been Rachel's dream, but what if that dream turns into a nightmare when a new girl appears in Ross's life and Rachel is left a bit jealous. Join Rachel and her friends on a trip where things end a bit worse than planned. Will Rachel be forgive Ross or is it the end?


**A/N: Hi all, I know I have been MIA for quite a while and that I have other stories to finish, but since watching Friends for two months straight I couldn't stop watching. So before introducing the story, I just want to get things clear in the story. The story isn't set in the series. It's just my own idea for the story**

 **One, Chandler and Monica are a couple in this story. Two, Rachel lives in her own apartment in the same building as Monica and Chandler. And thirdly, there will be some reference to the series.**

 **Disclaimer: As usual, I don't** **own** **anything, just my ideas.**

Chapter 1

 **Rachel POV**

"Rachel! Hurry up!" I heard Monica yell from the living room for the fifth time. "We need to go, our flight leaves in an hour!" I – being Rachel Karen Green – was still busy packing my clothes for our Hawaiian vacation that we decided to go on. Ever since I was a little girl, I always wanted to go to Hawaii with my best friends to enjoy the mesmerizing sunset dancing on the waters indicating his final farewell of the passing day, the hula dances the Hawaiian's do as part of their tradition, the iconic volcanoes of Hawaii, the people, food, shopping opportunities you name it. Daddy always told me to never give up on my dreams, to wish upon a bright star and if I do that, my wish will come true that day. Since then I never stopped wishing and twenty five years later that wish, my wish, finally came true. About a week ago, we all decided we needed a break from everything, Phoebe came up with the idea to go to Hawaii and we all decided it was a good idea. We all took two weeks off from work – although Monica had a struggle since she was the head chef of her workplace, but she managed to get off luckily – and now we are on our way to the airport, well not yet since I'm still busy packing.

I bit my lower lip, contemplating all my scattered clothes on the bed wondering what I should take along with me, but being me it was really difficult for me since I were limited to only two suitcases. Instead of packing, my eyes caught a very familiar white spaghetti strap shirt that Ross bought for me for our six months anniversary. I remember that day very clearly, we were walking down the street of my apartment when my eyes caught this white spaghetti strap shirt hanging from a display doll in the window shop. _'I will be there for you'_ were printed on the shirt with black sparkly letters and I instantly fell in love with it. Later that night Ross came by the apartment saying he had a little gift for me and to my surprise it was that same shirt I saw that afternoon. Whenever he was around, I always had it on. But two months after our anniversary we broke up and I forgot about the shirt, since then it only gathered dust in my closet until now when I scattered all my clothes on the bed two hours ago.

"Rach, are you coming? Joey asked as he knocked on the door three times. Snapping out of my thoughts I quickly looked up giving him the best Rachel smile I have, but I couldn't help but to sneer when I saw the bright warm Hawaiian shirt he was wearing with his khaki shorts and black sandals to match.

"You know we're not in Hawaii yet?" I arched a mocking eyebrow observing Joey's outfit out with a playful smile plastered across my face. Joey just gave a goofy smile rolling his eyes at the same time. I could tell he was all ready and excited to go to Hawaii.

"Yeah, I know, but I'm just so excited!" he exclaimed with his fist in the air. "So are you ready?" he asked in a more serious tone.

"Almost," I lied stealing a glance to my scattered clothes. "Just need to zip up." Joey nodded as he disappeared out of my room.

Sighing I looked back on my bed eyeing the shirt very carefully wondering if I should take it along or not. Without a doubt it still hurts for what he did to me and to be honest, I think every girl will feel this way. I doubt if I would ever give him a second chance – maybe one day, I mean never say never. I trusted him with my whole life and my trust is similar to a piece of paper - once the paper is wrinkled or torn in half, it will never be perfect again like the way it was. Never the less even with the wrinkles, part of me still wants it to be perfect again although the other part of me is arguing to stay away and just to move on with my life because there is so many fishes in the sea to explore with.

"Rachel!" Monica yelled a bit louder than before and I subconsciously grabbed as many clothes as I could, throwing it in my suitcases, zipping it up and practically running out of the apartment with my two suitcases on wheels as everyone was waiting for me in the hall. Typical me I'm always the last one to arrive and judging by the look on their faces I already knew what they were thinking about. Therefore without even asking I already knew what they were going to say.

"Yeah, yeah I'm always late," I mumbled locking the door of the apartment behind me. Straightening my hair with my fingertips I nodded that I was ready to go. Ross offered to carry one of my suitcases, but I refused not wanting to take up his offer. After about half a flight of stairs I realised that I was not going to make it down in one piece and stopped mid tracks with my suitcases beside me. Ross was the only one that was behind me, so with an irritated look on my face I looked over to Ross who gave me a charming smile and puppy dog's eyes that I once adored dearly. Looking more than five seconds in his eyes I could feel the anger building up again as staring into his eyes only brought back the vivid memories of his unfaithfulness towards me. It kept playing in my head like flashcards over and over again. The same memories that have kept me up, or left me with nightmares for the last two months.

Then I remembered Ross wasn't the only one to blame. The fact that she's still working with him sickened me, so seeing Ross every time makes it more difficult for me. His eyes only left mine as he approached me; only in that moment did I notice how tall he actually really was as we barely stood a foot apart from each other. As he bent down I gave a step back as my reflexes kicked in only to find that to my surprise he only picked up one of my suitcases before waiting for me to descend the stairs.

Once we were outside of our apartment building, Ross loaded my luggage in one of the cabs that was parked in the driveway. We had to get two cabs because six people were not going to fit in one small city cab or otherwise it would be a tight fit for all of us.

"All ready?" Chandler asked with a grin on his face as he looked at Monica slyly. We all nodded our heads in unison with the excitement building up inside me again. Before we climbed in, we all made sure we had our tickets and passports with us as there will be no time to go back for it. But instead of making sure we had all our things, Monica and Chandler was busy having their make-out session as I could feel the heat that was building up between them.

"Oh get a room," I scoffed as I climbed in one of cabs. Phoebe joined me and soon after did Monica with a huge smile plastered across her face. The cab came to life as the driver started it, he flickered his light and soon drove off onto the road to the airport.

"I can't believe we are going to Hawaii!" Phoebe suddenly shrieked in the car almost giving the driver on the road a heart attack with her sudden outburst of excitement and high pitched voice. Monica and I also couldn't help but to join Phoebe in her excitement. The excitement in the car was so electrifying that it brought back our youth turning us into the three giggling toddlers that we once were.

"Do you guys mind? I'm driving. Unless you want to walk to the airport I suggest you stop that infuriating sound. You are full grown woman and not two year old toddlers. So keep quiet or start walking," our driver reprimanded at us, but it was hard to take him serious because of his crazy ethic wear. It was this long bright yellow and blue blazer with a red bandana, but the thing that was the most interesting was the deep red skirt with yellow trimming that he had on underneath. We looked at each other speechless before turning back to our driver with another fit of giggles.

"Okay, okay very funny. I'm actually late for an audition. I'm actually an actor so quiet down before I'll leave you for my audition," he said as he turned on the radio and it suddenly came to life with an advertisement. We came to a stop at a stop light as the other cab stopped next to us with screeching brakes. I looked out of window only to see Ross was staring at me, but that wasn't the part that surprised me. The thing that surprised me was the song that was starting to play on the radio and I couldn't help but to realise that the song had an influence on our relationship.

 _I did you wrong_

 _My foolish heart went out to play_

 _And then I lost you_

 _Oh what a price for me to pay_

I felt my heart drop to my stomach as the words were sang by Bad Boys Blue, every word were exactly how it went down that night, his foolish heart did go out to play and he did lose me. I could feel the tears that were starting to build up as I looked into his eyes across the cabs, but looked away as I listened to the song.

 _Where have you gone?_

 _Baby where have you've gone._

 _Oh I totally miss you_

 _My heart is painted blue_

 _I totally miss you_

 _I can't stop loving you_

 _So please, come back_

 _(You'll be making me blue)_

 _Please come back_

 _Why you have promised me the world_

 _(But you have made on through)_

 _I totally miss you, I totally miss you_

 _Oh I totally miss you_

 _I keep on waiting_

 _And in my dreams I see a face_

 _You're still in my life_

 _No one else can take your place_

I managed to look at Ross again, but only for a brief second as the cab drove off again heading our way to the airport. The other cab fell behind again leaving us in front. The rest of the song faded away in my ears as the thoughts of Ross and those particular words keep playing in my mind. I wondered if he was still in some way waiting for me and that no-one could take my place. But I knew one day someone is going to take my place if I don't act right away, but how can I? It's been two months since our break-up and it's still very fresh in my mind of what I saw. But before I could visualise it again, Monica broke the silence that was filled in the cab.

"You okay Rach?" she asked carefully placing a hand on my knee with a concern look on her face and her mouth tugged downwards as it looked like she was biting her lip. The driver also seemed to notice my sudden change of expression as he now and then glanced at me in his rear-view mirror.

"I'm fine," I said faking a smile. "I'll be fine," I reassured them grabbing Monica's hand into mine giving her a tight squeeze before letting go. I could tell they weren't convinced, they only gave me a small smile. Without saying anything further I look out of the window again and noticed the big airport sign. We were almost there. I couldn't wait to get out of this cab and go on vacation with my friends.

"We're here," the taxi driver said as he climbed out of the cab already unloading our luggage. I took a deep breath as I climbed out of the car only to see the other cab came to a stop behind ours. Phoebe and Monica gave a polite nod paying the driver and wishing him good luck with his audition. When I was about to turn around, the driver grabbed me by the wrist gently.

"Hey, I just want to say, hold on, because deep down I know you two will be together again," he said pointing to Ross. I saw the look he was giving you at the stop light and I saw your reaction in my rear-view mirror. Hold on okay?" he said gently shaking my hand. I smiled looking over to Ross. He only looked at me for a brief second before heading inside.

"Thank you," I said giving him a quick friendly hug. "Good luck with your audition," I smiled grabbing both of my suitcases rolling it towards the airport entrance. The airport was scattered with chattering people as we all had little space to move properly. It was quite a struggle to get to the waiting area, but we finally made it with a breath to spare.

"Oh my God, why are there so many people here?" Phoebe asked tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear catching her breath as soon as we sat in the comfy airport seats. We all nod in agreement looking over to all the people in the airport. It was quite busy here, no wonder we struggled to get here. We bumped into everyone on our way over.

"Yeah, I can't believe so many people are going on vacation," Ross answered rubbing his two hands together. Chandler looked over to Ross with an amused look on his face with a hint of confusion.

"Dude, why are you rubbing your two hands together, this is not Antarctica?" Chandler sarcastically said with a smile. But Ross only gave him an irritating look before pulling out a dinosaur magazine from his bag.

"I wonder if there is snakes on the plane," Phoebe said out loud looking lost in her own world, we all had our eyes widen at Phoebe who didn't noticed at first, but came back to reality with a playful smile on her face.

"I'm just curious," she said. We all seemed to calm down except Joey who was still terrified at the thought. We all knew he had a fear of snakes and if there's a movie made about snakes on a plane, I doubt he would ever survive it.

"Don't worry Joey, Phoebe was just wondering. It won't happen in real life," Monica assured him rubbing his arm up and down which he seemed to enjoy and which caused him to relax.

"Flight 356 to Hawaii boarding now, please have your passports and tickets ready," a woman announced through the speakers bursting over the loud chatter of people. We all took a deep breath before grabbing our suitcases in our hands. A blonde mid-thirty flight attendant was standing at the entrance handling all the tickets and passports and I could tell she smiled a lot in her days.

"Have a wonderful flight," the blonde attendant said smiling as she handed both my ticket and passport back to me. I gave her a polite smile stepping forward into the plane waiting for Phoebe and Monica to pass. My heart was pounding rapidly fast from all the excitement that was starting to build up again. _'I'm finally going to Hawaii'_ I mentally squealed.

We all walked down the narrow hallway of the plane searching for our seats that was supposedly somewhere in the middle of the plane. After quite some seconds we finally reached our seats and I came to a dead stop realising that I was sitting on the edge of the seats next to the hallway with Ross opposite me while the two lovebirds sat in front of me and Phoebe.

Once we were all seated, another blonde attendant who looked much younger than the one before came into view. She prepped us for the flight explaining all the safety regulations of the plane and what to do in an emergency, when we can go to the bathroom and when to take our safety belts on and off etc.

"Have a wonderful flight," the blonde attendant said as she disappeared to the front of the plane where the captain was. I looked over to Phoebe so see what she brought with her on the plane. It was a small Sudoku puzzle she bought at the gift shop yesterday.

We all buckled up our safety belts waiting patiently for the plane to departure. I shifted to a more comfortable position in my seat grabbing a fashion magazine out of my purse to read on the plane. After five minutes the pilot's voice burst over the speakers introducing himself, ready to fly us to Hawaii. Within minutes the plane started to move slowly, but within seconds it gained tremendous speed. Phoebe held onto her seat for dear life. Before we knew it, we were high in the air. I looked past Phoebe to see the clouds around us indicating the extreme height we reached so quickly. I saw the earth vanish from detailed streets, cars, buildings etc. to only patches and the cars looking like small ants walking around searching for their nest. We were officially in the air on our way to Hawaii.

It was four hours into our ten hour flight as I was already bored out of my mind. The magazine was no longer interesting for me. I asked Phoebe for a cross word puzzle and she generously handed me one. I opened up the first page and started to read the first crossword question. But instead of reading it, I couldn't help but to glance over at Ross who was also busy with a puzzle of his own. But since then every five minutes we would exchange looks for a brief second before looking away.

I tried really hard to focus on my puzzle, but I just couldn't get pass the first question. It was even more difficult to see Ross so close to me. It felt like I was standing at a crossroad, not knowing what path to take. There were parts of me that I wanted to forgive him, but majority of the parts was still filled with the memory of our break-up, as it was still clear as daylight for me…

 _It was raining dogs and cats outside in New-York on a Saturday night, it was pouring so hard that it made nasty puddles all over the road, but what I found really disgusting was the fact that I found out Ross cheated on me with his new co-worker. Never in my life did I think he would cheat on me again. My nostrils were flared up as I was above angry with him._

" _Ross, I think it's better if you just leave, I don't want to talk to you," I said as he followed me into the living room. Streams of tears were falling down my cheek as I had so many mixed emotions inside me. I was angry, sad, and disappointed at the same time. Seeing Ross doing it with his co-worker only made me disgusted and angry._

" _No, I want to talk about this," he said still following me, but I stopped him pointing my finger at him as he only took a step back. He had his hands up in the air like he was arrested or something. He looked at me with those puppy dog brown eyes of him, I could tell he was regretting his action, but you know what they see, regrets always comes too late._

" _What is there to talk about Ross? You cheated on me with that bloody slut of a co-worker of yours," I flared charging at him hitting him on his muscular chest with my fist, but in the process I felt my fist going numb of the pain that was shooting through my body._

 _Scolding myself I walked away from Ross trying to soothe some of the pain away from my hand. I had so many emotions inside me that I wanted to get rid of, before I knew it my knees gave in as I began to sob from all the pain that was inside me._

" _Rach," he began as he came around the couch, but I interrupted him._

" _No Ross, I don't want to hear it!" I said between sobs walking away again._

" _It's not what you think," he desperately said staring deep into my eyes. Not what I think? Now what can it be then? Because seeing him doing it with his co-worker is not what I think? God how stupid does he think I am?_

" _Oh really?" I gasped. "So having sex with your co-worker in your office is not cheating? Oh sorry Ross, my bad. It's okay to have sex when you have another girlfriend. Next time I will go have sex with my co-worker," I snapped at him not thinking clearly._

" _Rach, don't be like this," he sighed clearly not intrigued by my answer. To be honest I wasn't also, but it's been said and I can't take it back._

" _Don't be like what?" I asked in a softer tone narrowing my eyes at him._

" _I'm sorry for having sex with Jessica, I never intended to do that in the first place, I'm really sorry," he apologised staring down at the floor. I just shook my head crossing my arms looking out of the window with a tear escaping my eye._

" _Why did you?" I dare to ask looking at him. Deep down I knew whatever it was, whatever his excuse was, I knew I wasn't going to forgive him. And if he dares to say that we were 'On a Break'_ I swear I would kill him on the spot he was standing on.

 _He looked up from his spot with his puppy brown eyes that looked a bit watery to me. He was on the edge of crying. He looked so vulnerable and lost in his own world, like he didn't know how to explain it. I raised an eyebrow waiting for an explanation. He only shook his head biting his lower lip. ._

" _I don't know, it was just in the moment," he said softly. "I was comforting her and before we knew it we were busy having sex." Not what I was expected. I just scoff, I shook my head as I could feel the tears starting to build up again as I opened the door of my apartment._

" _I think you should go," I said hoarsely with the tears streaming down my cheeks. He looked at me with a pleading look on his face. I couldn't look at him so I just looked away waiting for him to leave my apartment. But he didn't dare to move from his spot clearly not wanting to leave._

" _Ross!" I raised my voice, shooting a glare at him, he just sighed. But when he came to a halt at the door, I managed to look deep into his eyes and all I could see was betrayal._

" _Rachel…" he said softly._

" _It's over Ross," I said out of breath. I could see the tears starting to form in his eyes, he shook his head and left closing the door behind him. I hit the door with my fist, sliding down beginning to sob my tears out._

My thoughts were broken when I felt a tear stream down my cheek and onto the cross puzzle. I could feel a gaze of eyes on me and when I looked over, I saw Ross with a worried expression on his face, but I quickly wiped the tear off before looking over to Phoebe who noticed my verge of crying.

"You okay?" she asked softly. I nodded my head. "Thinking about Ross again?" she asked and again I nodded my head. I just sighed. I'm a hopeless woman not knowing what to do with this situation.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm crying so much today," I said choking back the tears. "It's maybe one of those days I guess."

"Don't be sorry, I know this thing with Ross is tough for you. But just forget about him. We are going to Hawaii and we are going to enjoy ourselves," Phoebe assured me with a smile. I smiled at her gracefully. Thank God I'm not alone. I decided to get some rest so I closed the cross puzzle giving it back to Phoebe. I closed my eyes and drifted away to sleep. Five and a half hours to go…

After ten extremely long hours we finally touched down on the airstrip, it was a beautiful sight that could be seen from the cabin window, simply breath taking and none of us could wait any longer to experience the blue skies and green mountains for ourselves, so the second that the seatbelt light went off, everyone was up and ready to grab their bags. Like in New York, Chandler was placed in charge of getting us to the hotel, and seeing as no one had any objections before he did the same by getting two cabs. It was rather hot so as the window lowered I had a smile plastered over my face as I enjoyed the fresh Hawaiian breeze licking at my face as my hair lightly blew in the wind. This was utter paradise with the warm sun on my body. I leaned my head against the door taking in sight after sight. The drive to the hotel didn't last long as we pulled up to an entryway with a palm tree on each side crossing overhead and colourful flower beds and smaller palm trees scattered all over the lawn.

The welcome was small but still very warm, two of the hotel's welcoming committee members was there to greet us each with a fruity cocktail, and an information packet about the island, no doubt Monica is going to read it from top to bottom. With that said the look on Chandler's face that he was giving her I'd say he had other ideas. The first to greet us was a very well build, and tanned Hawaiian Man, though it was clear he was no spring chicken but he still looked good for his age. The next person made me turn a bit green with jealousy. There was no denying that she was an extremely beautiful woman with mile long legs, a fit body, and it only got worse from there as I saw her flawless sun kissed skin and perfect pearly white teeth. But I was sure I would have reacted differently had she not openly started eying Ross like a piece of meat before shamelessly flirting with him. She was about four or five inches taller than me but we had almost the exact same shade of dark blonde hair, and she had strange blueish green eyes that sort of reminded me of the sea behind her as they both have that bright sparkling look.

"Welcome to Hawaii," the older man greeted coming up behind the girl whose eyes still haven't left Ross. "I am Mr. John, and welcome to Hualalai, I am the Manager of the Four Seasons here and should you need anything at any time please do not hesitate to ask me or any of our staff. All the needed numbers are in your welcome packets, please do take a moment to read through it and see what this wonderful island have to offer." Turning back to the girl he gave her a nod before she stepped towards us.

"Please accept these traditional Hawaiian leis that is constructed of flowers, leaves, seeds, feathers and even bone and teeth of various animals, we'll lead you to the reception now but before we go I would like to introduce my daughter, Susan, she will be placed in charge of your stay here," he said introducing us.

"How you doing?" Joey greeted with a goofy smile which we all rolled our eyes at. She gracefully greeted him with a polite smile, the same with all of us, but when she got to Ross, she held a little longer into his hand giving a wink to him which only I noticed. Ross stared at her, awkwardly chuckling at himself and I thought to myself, this is going to be a very hard, long vacation.


End file.
